Note To Slay Queens: If You are Going to Look So Fly, At Least Speak Right


slay queensIn her song ‘Formation,’ American singer Beyonce repeatedly says “I slay” in a lyrical lash where she hints at being an alpha female.

The word coined in a moment of lyrical prowess has turned into a slang that has bludgeoned town like a Hurricane Mediocrity. Women who are content with being average, the clique who have chosen to rub dung on the real tenets of femininity and have made it all about fake looks and pseudo lives on social media now have a befitting epithet; Slay Queens. And oh boy, aren’t many a woman riding in the bandwagon of craze.

These are women surprisingly many way beyond their teenage years who would take a loan just to buy Rihanna’s new make -up line and latest cum longest human hair weaves then spend hours in front of a mirror for that perfect selfie look all for what you’d ponder? Compliments and likes on social media then they would go to bed feeling content as an accomplished woman.

The ilk is a ragtag of misguided, deluded, logically challenged, emotionally and cerebrally unintelligent women who obviously need direction in life. Thus in the spirit of sister-hood, I offer them Pro-bono life lessons on how to really slay in life.

Ignorance is no bliss.

No darlings, knowing Cardy B’s Bodak Yellow word for word, the names of the ‘fleekest’ clubs in town, keeping tabs with the newest fashion trends is not even in the most subtle of ways a gauge of intelligence.

And no, oesophagus is not a chronic disease, The Ombudsman is not a name of a series, Supreme Court is not a political party and we have 47 counties.

In a highly chauvinistic, dynamic and competitive Society like the one we live in, a young African woman has to have the weapon of education as part of her Arsenal. The only thing you need to mercilessly slay to death is ignorance.

Granted, not all of us can be lawyers, doctors, journalists et al’ but we do not go to school squarely to earn careers in such fields; rather to replace our closed minds with a more open one.

Besides, if you are going to look so fly, at least speak right. I recently bumped on a reunion of a local reality show on YouTube and felt embarrassed on behalf of 3/4 of the women on set. The “girls” could not construct a single sentence right, were ratchets personified and shameless. See, that’s where education comes in.

A little education, probably just a step above the basics will slam some sort of decency in you. It would make you more “woke” if I may use the word and thus as a woman won’t go bragging of the celebs you’ve screwed, fighting over crap and such.

When the enchantment of your beauty fades, when age creeps in like darkness and clouds youthful exuberance, who and what will remain of you? What else do you know or can you do? Can you have an intelligent discourse on tangible topics.

Act your wage.

They say do not end up poor trying to act rich. Affluence is not absolute measure of a woman’s worth.

You are not special or more of a woman than others who do not go for lunch at high end Restaurants; its okay to cook as a young woman and eat home. Plus did I mention you can actually do so without taking pictures?

Most slay Queens have no tangible jobs and even if they did, spend way above their income. It beats logic why you’d rent a 35k per month apartment when your salary is 42k after taxes all because you want to fake it till you make it? It is not a crime to settle for what you can afford and work on your dreams.

It is okay to shop at those bend over markets, it is fine not to be able to have certain things, don’t strain, do not overstretch it. Learn to save and invest as a young woman for rainy days.

There is life outside social media.

Team slayers wake up and bombard us on Snapchat, an hour later they’re on Instagram with exaggerated poses and captions of “the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want” or ” haters gon hate, give em’ more reasons.’

C’mon girls, we all know some potbellied, prolly old “Zaddy’ somewhere is your Shepherd, I ain’t hating, I’m just saying. Then they go looking for foreign men on dating sites and basically their lives revolve around social media.

I’m pretty sure some who do not get over 100 likes end up depressed. Personally, I find it deeply unsettling and worrying that young women look for validation on social media when half or more of the people they crave their attention are strangers! You do not need social media likes and attention to feel good, beautiful or special. Your confidence and self love should be higher than your six inch heels.

There are books other than Facebook that would certainly enrich your mind and steer you into self realization, worth and fulfillment. Get off social media sometimes, you don’t have to be there 24/7, socialize outside the confines of your gadget, read, do hands on stuff.

Stop faking it, you won’t make it.

Everything about these lot reeks of complacency. They are fake to their butts and quite literally; from their nails, hair, overly made-up faces to accents. They suffer from identity crisis, schizophrenia and personality disorder all by trying to be people they are not.

A slay Queen struggles between being a black Melania Trump with Wendy William’s boobs, Sidika’s behind, at the same time wants to speak like Sansa of game of thrones but reasons like a typical Nyeri, Dandora or Nyalgunga born girl who first wore shoes in high school.

Girls, be you. Be real and embrace yourself , be the best version of you and thirst for more than just the razzmatazz and euphoria of glamour and grandeur life which most of the time, you cannot finance.

Being a woman entails much more than looks, glamour and life on the first lane.

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Written by Eva Nyambura

Content creator at | Passionate about telling the untold story. Lover of life, music and technology. Simplicity is KEY


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