Kenyan bloggers are as peculiar as Kenyans themselves. They will wow, surprise, annoy and make you happy at the same time. They will do the meaningless and not do the meaningful at the same time. They will brag and their egos is the size of the great Pyramids of Egypt. We just sat down and came with 8 traits of Kenyan bloggers they better change or we will just still be a tourist attraction.

1. The Secret Admirer

There are Kenyan bloggers on twitter who when they think that you are a threat to their forte, they will unfollow you. They will also easily unfollow you when the corporate leader they follow feels offended at one of your tweet. The funny bit of them is that they have unfollowed you but every hour they will be peeping on your timeline or checking on your tweets in case you did something interesting while they were away.

2. The Shy Stalker

These are the ones who hates you all the time and tweet all the wrong things about you. They will declare that you play in a lower league or you are just insane but your blog is the first they read even before brushing their teeth.

3. The Jones’ Neighbour

You have seen the people who you think hate you for no reason. They might hate you because you are not friends with their best TV or Radio personality, don’t like their church, you write badly about their boss or just because their favourite CEO is just not on your best of books. They will launch a tirade against you on Twitter hoping that you will die without knowing that they are wasting their time most of the time. If you write  a blog post about their best joint, you will get a slapping without them looking at the objectivity in your writting.

4. The Exhibitors

They will have a non-personal blog with not even a single post on their personal experience with a BIG photos of themselves doing nothing apart from playing with some emaciated cat they give stupid names like Kuchi or Blanco. The blog is rarely updated and the excuse might be many but key among them is how their boss adds them responsibilities of late. Their twitter avatar is that where they are licking the nose of some horse in Siberian orphanage just to show how lovey dovey they are.

5. Corporate Chihuahua

These are the ones which go around claiming how they have one of the most respected blogs out there. Their blogs is nothing apart from wowing at every product a corporate releases. If you want to have a deal with them, they will tell you how they want to maintain “the high respect” their blog has while it is nothing but a one corporate nyuma lambaing blog.

6. Event Cats

They will go to an event which lasts a whole day or whole week, listen to presentations which 99% of them they don’t understand just to tweet misinformed takes from the event hoping that they might earn some props from the event organisers. They are now very common in Nairobi. I usually call them event malayas.

7. Retweet Hog

They will retweet everything the people they follow tweets including “I am going to Sleep”. They hope that they might be admired more and more by such people that the next date they will earn free lunch vouchers.

Where are you above? Leave your comment below.